Boarding Flight #2021

Taking off into the new year with lite baggage; a carry-on of all the good stuff from 2020. Within this bag a metallic silver lining of recovery, discovery, nourishment, readiness, and partnership. All the stitches necessary to catapult me into the next redesign of me. My inner self is flying into this new year feeling lighter, purposeful in every step I take, beaming with steadfast joy at the abundance of blessings I have been given this year, the lioness strength to tackle anything that sits in the way of my personal growth and fulfillment, and the realization that a global pandemic can’t stop the inevitable from forming; the greatest love I have ever known.

Self-Taught Lessons from #2020

I. We all must forge a timeless subscription to choiceful solitude. To both my single and coupled ladies, never stop spending quality time with yourself and never lose the talent of being alone; those vital moments of introspection. It is so easy to get lost in the 𝘄𝗲 that you  so easily forget to focus on 𝘆𝗼𝘂…and your individual path. There is something freeing about considering yourself and what makes you fulfilled. Wholeness. “Me time,” you are essential!

II. Luxurious and effective skincare does not have to cost your liver and the price of a Gucci bag. There are a new class of options, Versed and Cocokind, that will get the job done and bypass shoppers guilt.

III. Just because you are changing doesn’t mean everything and everyone around you is experiencing the same metamorphic and/or in the same way. Cut off the joy-stealers, but be patient with those you love. Specifically, blending a family is a unique process for every individual involved. If the adults don’t work together for the kids, nobody wins. 

IV. Don’t take for granted connection, family, your village. Showing up for others comes in many different facets,  but we all rely on our personal sphere of influence as medicine to the soul. The laughter, in-depth convos, and stress-free interactions keep us grounded and focused on living our truth with those who see us when we may be blind to our own growth.

Remember all the things we’ve done this year when the world froze. We stopped waiting for the weekend, that day off, that vacation, that opportunity, that relationship, and just made the best out of being present. We learned a new way of being. We kept growing (even when we didn’t realize it). We kept loving ourselves and others (even when we didn’t realize it). All done from home plate.

Let’s board this new trip around the sun with last year’s takeaways and the space to create more vim and vigor. #goodbaggage

ATTENTION: Repelling all 2020 Joy-Stealers + How

1 global pandemic + 1 narcissist (disguised as a co-parent) + remote learning with 2 kids = my 2020 leading line up of legit hardcore joy-stealers. However, there is one that takes the cake and still has the nerve to demand more; pure gluttony (fitting). Wait. Before I continue, perhaps you too have a joy-stealer in your life, lurking behind and waiting for the moment to crush all of your micro, small, and big joys. They are made of “gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, a negative judgmental attitude,” and nothing nice. They may also throw epithets better than the old Tyson. Enter said person; who thrives on deflating any ion of happiness that may exist in your space, but will never admit it. Nope, not a chance. Right? Sound familiar? But, how does the attempt to destroy another make you saintly? Insecurity and jealousy are two bone-deep, ugly, and hateful mother f***ers. Never invite them into your home and keep your ears peeled for the ones who are unwilling to claim the title that is rightfully theirs to own. Beware!

I could go on and on about the inner psyche of a narcissist, but that’s not really my jam. BUT, I am extremely proud to scream from the tip top of a mountain, “I survived a toxic marriage with a narcissist and still see the world in color.” Keep reading for tips on combatting your own joy stealer(s).

Joy-Stealer Repellent:

  1. Kill joys remain incapable of celebrating another’s happiness, because they are fueled by putting people down, which requires participation from their prey. Remove yourself from this relationship as it takes two for the dysfunction to exist and thrive. If needed, please read that one more time.
  2. If you can’t shake this person for 18 years, limit your time and set boundaries that work for YOU. They will still attempt to cross those lines, so be prepared for those fun-filled moments.
  3. Remember, everything is about them and not you. Their anger and negativity comes from a place of unresolved pain; not your issue. I repeat, not.your.issue. Wish them well even though they may be undeserving of you. Hanging on to negativity will only pull you down.
  4. Don’t let the apologies, gifts, and calculated kindness fool you…narcissist are repeat offenders and masters at manipulation. The cycle of toxicity always repeats itself.
  5. Seek help from a professional who may provide you with additional tips and methods to protect your private sphere aka proxemics.

Have you ever blocked someone and just breathed easier? Remember, your peace is always a non-negotiable.

Hang in there, Mama!

A much needed holiday gift for self, a friend, or both. Hurry while supplies last! 😉