1 global pandemic + 1 narcissist (disguised as a co-parent) + remote learning with 2 kids = my 2020 leading line up of legit hardcore joy-stealers. However, there is one that takes the cake and still has the nerve to demand more; pure gluttony (fitting). Wait. Before I continue, perhaps you too have a joy-stealer in your life, lurking behind and waiting for the moment to crush all of your micro, small, and big joys. They are made of “gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, a negative judgmental attitude,” and nothing nice. They may also throw epithets better than the old Tyson. Enter said person; who thrives on deflating any ion of happiness that may exist in your space, but will never admit it. Nope, not a chance. Right? Sound familiar? But, how does the attempt to destroy another make you saintly? Insecurity and jealousy are two bone-deep, ugly, and hateful mother f***ers. Never invite them into your home and keep your ears peeled for the ones who are unwilling to claim the title that is rightfully theirs to own. Beware!
I could go on and on about the inner psyche of a narcissist, but that’s not really my jam. BUT, I am extremely proud to scream from the tip top of a mountain, “I survived a toxic marriage with a narcissist and still see the world in color.” Keep reading for tips on combatting your own joy stealer(s).
- Kill joys remain incapable of celebrating another’s happiness, because they are fueled by putting people down, which requires participation from their prey. Remove yourself from this relationship as it takes two for the dysfunction to exist and thrive. If needed, please read that one more time.
- If you can’t shake this person for 18 years, limit your time and set boundaries that work for YOU. They will still attempt to cross those lines, so be prepared for those fun-filled moments.
- Remember, everything is about them and not you. Their anger and negativity comes from a place of unresolved pain; not your issue. I repeat, not.your.issue. Wish them well even though they may be undeserving of you. Hanging on to negativity will only pull you down.
- Don’t let the apologies, gifts, and calculated kindness fool you…narcissist are repeat offenders and masters at manipulation. The cycle of toxicity always repeats itself.
- Seek help from a professional who may provide you with additional tips and methods to protect your private sphere aka proxemics.
Have you ever blocked someone and just breathed easier? Remember, your peace is always a non-negotiable.
Hang in there, Mama!